Wedding Planning: Special Situations PartI

"We are constantly being put to the test by trying circumstances and difficult people and problems not necessarily of our own making." ~ Terry Brooks

Life is very unpredictable and each one of us has had to deal with some sort of sensitive, delicate, unusual, heartbreaking or outrageous situation at some point in our lives. It might be something that we have had to deal with or live with. Regardless of the issue, often times it places an unexpected and unwanted stress on our day to day lives.

Planning a wedding, as I have mentioned on numerous occasions, can be a stressful situation in itself, but what do you do when something happens or you are already dealing with other issues as well? In this segment we are going to look at "special situations" you may be faced with during your wedding planning process and how to deal with it or diffuse it before it becomes a problem.

This is certainly not a topic someone planning their wedding wants to think about. Unfortunately, sometimes things happen that force a couple to call off their wedding.

Calling off your wedding may be a devastating event for some, but for others. it may be the best decision they will ever make. Believe it or not, if deep down you are not 100% certain or you know that there are serious issues, it is better to realize it before the fact and not after. Sometimes calling off the wedding is the best solution.

It is estimated that 15% to 20% of engaged couples call off their wedding plans. It is normal for couples to have doubts or get cold feet. After all, you are committing your lives to one another. There are no other more important decisions you will make in your lifetime with such lasting consequences.

In most cases, a broken engagement is devastating and painful for everyone involved. Once the difficult decision has been made to call off the wedding, you will need to notify family members and friends. So, how does a couple go about spreading the word? I am sure it is the last thing you are thinking about, but it has to be done, (not necessarily by you personally, someone else can do it for you). Here are a few tips on how to pass along the message:

-There is nothing wrong with enlisting the assistance of close friends to inform others. This of course should be done only if you did not formally announce your engagement. Also, it is important to ensure that they respect the privacy of those involved when doing so on your behalf.

-A brief announcement should be made in the papers if your engagement has been broken off. This should be done only if your initial engagement announcement was placed in the papers to begin with. Here is an example of what you can write:

Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

announce that the engagement of their daughter

Ashley Marie and Mr. Connor William White

has been ended by mutual consent

-You should definitely send out a printed announcement if you have already sent off your invitations. Here is an example of what can be printed and mailed out:

Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

announce that the marriage of their daughter

Ashley Marie to

Mr. Connor William White

will not take place.

-Guests must be notified immediately by telephone if your wedding is cancelled a few days prior to the wedding day. You can enlist the help of family members to do so.

-Sometimes a couple may have to postpone a wedding owing to a death in the family or a serious illness. In this situation, guests must be contacted immediately as well. If there is enough time, a printed or handwritten announcement can be sent out. If it is a postponement, an explanation should be given. If it is a permanent cancellation, you do not have to give an explanation. Here is an example of what can be written in the case of a postponement:

Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

Regret that they are obliged to recall

The invitations to the marriage of their daughter

Ashley Marie to Mr. Connor William White

Due to the death of Mr. White's father

Mr. Terrence Seymour White

-If the wedding is still to take place, the following lines can be included in the above announcement:

The ceremony will be held privately

In the presence of the immediate family

-In some instances, it is necessary to recall invitations because the reception will be cancelled. It is appropriate to send out the following, if the ceremony is taking place but not the reception:

Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

Regret that owing to a death in the family

They are obligated to recall the invitations

To the marriage reception of their daughter

On Saturday, the twenty-seventh day of July

Two thousand and Thirteen

The marriage ceremony will take place as originally planned

If a parent or close relative has passed away, it is important for some couples to keep their memory alive in some way at the wedding without affecting the happy and joyful mood of the occasion. Although the absence of a parent or loved one is sad, their lives can certainly be celebrated in some sentimental way on a couple's wedding day.

If you are going through a difficult time with the loss of a parent or loved one during one of the most important moments of your life, here are a few ways to remember that special person on your wedding day:

-Have the officiant say a few special words during the ceremony about the deceased relative. If they did not know the individual personally, provide them with some sentimental details.

-Include a memoriam line at the end of your wedding ceremony program. List the name(s) in acknowledgement of those who are no longer with you.

-A lovely gesture would be to wear an article of your loved one's clothing or piece of their jewelry on your wedding day. You could wear your mother's favorite pair of earrings or wedding dress, or your dad's tie pin or cuff links.

-Have your bouquet made up of the flowers that were in your mother or grandmother's bridal bouquet.

-Display wedding pictures of family members or loved ones with the bride/groom, at the reception. This is a sentimental way of including all the special people who were an important part of your life.

-Have a small table setup at the wedding reception with a candle or floral arrangement and a card attached saying, “In memory of our loved ones who are with us in spirit today”. We have all shared unique and cherished experiences with our parents or loved ones that have passed away. If you wish to honour someone special on your wedding day, reflect on some of your own unique and cherished experiences and find a creative way of incorporating them into your day.

It is often difficult having to deal with issues such as calling off a wedding or how to memorialize a loved one at your ceremony or reception. This segment was intended to give you some examples on how to deal with these delicate situations when you are in the midst of planning a wedding. I hope you found it helpful.